Let’s behave…otherwise it’s going to be Covid 20

I’ve been a good girl and I’ve followed the rules since the beginning of this utter shit show. I’ve not had people in our home unless we’re allowed. I socially distance at the supermarket even though most people seem to think it’s OK to barge in front of me when I’m standing in front of the fridge deciding between Lilydale chicken breasts or thighs. I stand on the little circles in the queue. And I haven’t gone walking around The Tan with 10 of my friends mainly because a, I don’t have 10 friends and b, I can’t be bothered.
So it royally shits me that, like all other Melburnians, I am facing the delightful prospect of a Stage 4 lockdown because a handful of fuckwits are either too dumb or selfish or, more likely, both,  and are seemingly unable to follow very clear advice.
Look, it’s clear that there was a screw up with the whole hotel quarantine thing but Daniel Andrews is doing his best to make up for that but yet the minority seem hell bent on spoiling life for the majority. It’s not his fault that some people in the state are plain stupid. I actually feel sorry for him. And Michael O’Brien isn’t really helping and he just needs to shut up, man up and be part of the solution instead of adopting the usual stance of bagging the government.
But seriously who the hell goes for a Covid test because they have Covid symptoms and then thinks ‘Well that was nice! Now, I think I’ll just go to Myer and cough and sneeze my way around all five floors while doing some browsing!’  Mate, get in your car, go home, sit on the lounge, order Uber Eats and watch Netflix like a normal person. Oh, and order stuff online. Amazon will have it at your door within 3 working days.
If I had a cough or a sniffle then I’d be in a three hour queue as quickly as possible waiting for someone to ram a knitting needle shaped device up my nose and into my brain while I sit in the car listening to Triple J. And then I’d go home and wait for the result. Luckily, I’ve been cough and sneeze free except for the time I sneezed 8 times in a row, nearly peed myself and then realised I’d just put too much pepper on my Spag Bol.
Come on peeps. Let’s all behave and kick this asshole into the stratosphere!