The Magical Place

Someone, and I can’t remember who, once said ‘Home is where you pay tax’.  If that’s the case, then home, for me, is Australia.  I’ve been here for 20 years so that’s 20 years as being a ‘resident for tax purposes.’  I lived in Scotland for 29 and a half years and paid tax for 12 of them.  So why doesn’t Australia feel like my definition of ‘home’ and why don’t I feel Australian? I have the passport.  I have a TFN. I don’t mind Vege toast.  I wear thongs, not flip flops.  FFS, I even know most of the words to Khe Sanh.  But I still don’t feel like a True-Blue Aussie.

Why?

It’s nothing against Australia.  It’s an amazing country.  If I hadn’t come here I’d never have met Angus… a man who I adore and will grow old with.  Career wise, if I’d stayed in Scotland, I wouldn’t have had the success I’ve had.  I’d never have sipped Chardonnay in the Hunter, Shiraz in the Barossa or Cab Sauv in Margaret River.  I’d never have seen the whitest sand on Hyam’s Beach.  And would never have seen Tony Lockett kick his 1300^th AFL goal. Would never have taken the jet cat to work either which is still the best ever commute to work.  But 20 years on, it still doesn’t feel like home.  Home is… the number 16; it’s Montpeliers; it’s the Himalaya; it’s M&S in Princes Street; it’s Whigam’s; it’s watching rugby in the Café Royal; it’s green; it’s scraping ice off your windscreen with a credit card; it’s a summer’s day on the west coast;  It may be only 22 degrees but it kicks ass over a 32 degree on Shelly Beach.  It’s also the banter.  Sidebar – I remember getting off a train at Waverley having been working in London for a few days with EY a few years ago.  I had a heavy case full of CVs and brochures and the cabbie grabbed them from the trolley and said, without a word of a lie, “You know, hen, we have bricks in Scotland’.  I laughed all the way to Morningside.

I love Scotland.  I love the way she looks when I see her from the plane after a 24 hour flight from Australia.  My first glimpse is usually through clouds somewhere over the Borders and then I see the beauty that is Edinburgh.  It’s an amazing sight.  That left hand turn up the east coast and over the Forth and there she is… Arthur’s Seat, Leith, The Castle.  But I love her more when I’m on the ground.  Just being there makes my heart beat faster.  Even when I write the word “Scotland’ I smile.  I can’t help it.  It speaks to my heart.  Yes, we’re shit at sport and the weather is shocking but there are days in Melbourne when it’s perfect (28 degrees, light breeze, Arbory, good friends) and if I could do a Dorothy (click my ruby red slippers and say ‘there’s no place like home’) I would trade it all in for a 6 degree day in Lothian Road trying to hail a cab back to Morningside via Efes (RIP), or for a Ruby at Mother India or a sneaky VLS at Old Man Bennets.

Having been away for 20 years, I’ve thought about why I feel like this.  I’ve got many Australian friends who are equally patriotic about their homeland (Margaret Hartman springs to mind) but for me it’s just about being there.  That said, it has a lot to do with family.  I’m hugely lucky in that my Mum and Dad are still around.  I also have an amazing sister and brother in law (whose only fault is the fact he insists on supporting a certain football team… see, the fact I even called it football is quite significant) who have produced the two most amazing kids on the planet – they are often the last thing I think of before I fall asleep and the first thing I think about when I wake.  I’m lucky I have some amazing friends who I’ve known for many years.  Some since P1 – yes that’s you Iain, Emma, Keiron and Alan.

The way I feel about Scotland doesn’t detract from Australia and the amazing experiences I’ve had here. I landed here in the very early hours of 24^th March 1999 and since then I’ve had the absolute privilege of meeting a tribe of amazing people… some grew here, some flew here… and all of them are important to me.  I can’t list them all and in no order of importance, I’ll list a few… and I acknowledge I won’t cover them all off:

• Angus…the one I was always meant to be with. The most funny, loyal, cynical and loving person.  I’m so lucky
• Narelle…she came to me late in life; best thing ‘He’ ever did
• Jenny… this one I couldn’t live without. I love her more than she knows
• Di…haven’t seen her for years but the friendship and generosity she displayed was above and beyond
• Margs…who started out as a client of Angus and has turned into a great friend
• Serena…I have no words for the joy I have knowing you are in my life
• Helga…you are the strongest person I know
• Sharon… the one who is always there and listens to my crap
• Clare…the most insightful person I’ve ever met
• Pj…the Scottish connection, Hugely important
• McG…my work husband. That is all
• CO…You are the amalgamation of all my male friends I’ve ever known. That’s a good thing!

On top of that there’s the trio who ‘followed’ me out here who always give me a little bit of home… that would be Jeanette, Rod and Jo.  There’s such a huge comfort of being with people who you’ve known you for years and who know your life before here.

I love this Great Southern Land but 17000 kms away there’s a place that gets me to my core.  I’m so glad I came here as it’s made me the person I am but there’s a part of my heart that misses the 80,000 square kms, the 790 islands, the 16,500 kms of shoreline that is Scotland. It’s my heritage.  It’s where I took my first breath, my first step, spoke my first word; It’s Home.